2008-03-8
A groom’s tips for keeping sane
Finally time for a post from my side, the groom to be. Firstly to all grooms out there, sit down and listen to what I have to say. Some of you may actually believe the myth that your life ends as soon as you pop the question, but I have some news for you - your life is only starting. You’re on a journey to actually start the best years of your life, building a relationship and a family with the person you love the most and with whom you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Okay, planning a wedding may not actually be a walk in the park, but heed the following advice and I promise you that you will get make it through victorious - with your head still firmly planted on your body.
First things first - whatever you do, stay calm. Your future wife may not fully understand why this wedding isn’t as big a deal to you as it is to her. And lets face it, as a groom you’re not always expected to know everything. So when you feel overloaded with 100’s of questions (which I’ll get to later) and it feels if your head is about to explode, just count to 10, count to 100 and run around the block if you must, but just remain calm. Your betrothed is already freaking out for both of you - so try to be the supporting one and don’t under any circumstances fuel the fire.
About those questions. You may be facing questions that would feel like you’re in front of the Spanish Inquisition - “What wedding theme would you like?”, “What wedding colours?”, “What kind of flowers?”, “What type of dinner music?”, “Fairy lights or candles?” Again, remain calm and don’t feel too bad if you don’t know what she’s talking about. Ask her to explain, I have it on good authority that she’ll like that you actually care. Tip - check out some wedding venue websites for inspiration. A very good wedding coordination and project management team - the Aleit group is a good source of inspiration and ideas.
Speaking of good ideas - If you’re on a budget for the wedding, why not consider getting married in the off-season? Winter time generally sees most venues and suppliers dropping rates up to 50%. Sure, it may be slightly colder, but think about that big fireplace at the reception, or the great winter backdrops for your photographs. You’ll probably be sweating nervously awaiting your bride at the altar, so a cool breeze may come in handy.
Try and attend as many of the bridal shows with her, you’ll be able to get a better feeling for the mammoth wedding industry and you’ll have a better idea of what she’s talking about when you start looking at the various tables, settings, venues, photographers, suits and dresses etc. on display. You’ll also become more familiar with what things actually cost and you’ll get a good idea of when you’re getting a deal. We’ve already visited a few bridal expo’s in the run-up to our wedding and each has its own charm.
So what are some of the specific things that you as a future groom can/should do in the run-up to the wedding?
- Create a website or blog through which you can post some thoughts and crucial information for your wedding party - it’s the web2.0 thing to do really.
- Source the photographer and DJ - and let her check out the pictures, meet the photographer and set up a meeting with the DJ so you’re clear on the music you want and more importantly, don’t want.
- Start looking into the limo/car selection - and again, discuss it with your bride - she may not share the same enthusiasm as you for that sleek black H2 Hummer Limo.
- If by now you haven’t sorted out the wedding bands (or replaced the interim engagement ring for some real bling) then get up and get cracking - Mynhardts diamonds can custom make your rings and help you select the right diamonds.
- You and your bride-to-be should sit down with all the travel brochures that you collected and figure out where you are going to go for your honeymoon. Perhaps surprising her with a rugby tour with the Springboks might not be the best idea, so try and gauge where she wants to go and take it from there. Call in reinforcements in the from of her sister or best friend to help you with your mission.
- If you haven’t already made plans on where you’re going to live after you wed, you better start. If she’s moving into your place, you better clear out loads of cupboard space. Now’s the perfect time to
get ridstash all your old varsity memorabilia and batcherlor pad gear into storage - better yet, donate it to a charity or a second-hand store. The cash could come in handy.
Next up, I need to start sourcing the suit and start arranging things like the rehearsal dinner and various gifts. A stop-off at the bank manager may not be such a bad idea.